Ode to the Idiots that make traffic worse than it needs to be

Let me preface by saying, YES, I realize the following is not actually an "Ode."  I'm not stupid--or poetic or lyrical.  But I am sarcastic.

1. Yes, I love it when you rush to get in front of me only to slam on your brakes so you can turn.
2. Please, do make sure you at LEAST 12 miles under the speed limit so that I can't possibly go around you because everyone else is passing us going no less than 12 miles OVER the speed limit.
3. I love it when you are driving your tiny little car with a fan-TAS-tic turn radius, but you still feel the need to come to a complete and utter stop in front of me before making your right turn into a very wide lane (when there is no stop sign or stop light) or big driveway/parking lot.
4. The highlight of my day is when I'm on my way home and get off the freeway.  I look forward to sitting in that long line of cars waiting to turn right onto the road that takes me home for 10 minutes longer than I need to because so many of you think you deserve to zoom pass everyone in said line of cars and squeeze into the front of the line at the very last second.  (Mmm.  I 'specially love that one.)
5. It's a balm to my weary soul when I'm driving in my lane, minding my own business, and you decide you want to share my lane with me.  I don't know why you get angry and honk at me when I don't want to spoon with your car. 
6. Yes, I love being in the one and only lane on the highway that is at a full stop when the other cars are flying by us.  All the time.  It's my favorite.
7. No, of course it doesn't make me nervous AT ALL when you swerve into my lane in front of me as we are braking.  
8. I have so much fun watching you when you can't make up your mind which lane you need to be in.  Left lane?  Right lane?  Middle lane?  OOOOOOOO, EXIT!  EXIT!  EXIIIIIIIIIIT! 
9. I love the way you speed up when I turn my turn signal on to change lanes.  
10. I love it when I'm trying to merge onto the interstate and my lane is ending and you go just the right speed to keep me from getting over.
11. It makes me giddy with excitement when I'm in a turn only lane and you are in the straight only lane next to me and turn anyway.  That's especially fun when there is only one lane to turn onto.  Life would be so dull if you actually paid attention to the signs.

Did I miss anything?  Probably.