Ode to the Idiots that make traffic worse than it needs to be

Let me preface by saying, YES, I realize the following is not actually an "Ode."  I'm not stupid--or poetic or lyrical.  But I am sarcastic.

1. Yes, I love it when you rush to get in front of me only to slam on your brakes so you can turn.
2. Please, do make sure you at LEAST 12 miles under the speed limit so that I can't possibly go around you because everyone else is passing us going no less than 12 miles OVER the speed limit.
3. I love it when you are driving your tiny little car with a fan-TAS-tic turn radius, but you still feel the need to come to a complete and utter stop in front of me before making your right turn into a very wide lane (when there is no stop sign or stop light) or big driveway/parking lot.
4. The highlight of my day is when I'm on my way home and get off the freeway.  I look forward to sitting in that long line of cars waiting to turn right onto the road that takes me home for 10 minutes longer than I need to because so many of you think you deserve to zoom pass everyone in said line of cars and squeeze into the front of the line at the very last second.  (Mmm.  I 'specially love that one.)
5. It's a balm to my weary soul when I'm driving in my lane, minding my own business, and you decide you want to share my lane with me.  I don't know why you get angry and honk at me when I don't want to spoon with your car. 
6. Yes, I love being in the one and only lane on the highway that is at a full stop when the other cars are flying by us.  All the time.  It's my favorite.
7. No, of course it doesn't make me nervous AT ALL when you swerve into my lane in front of me as we are braking.  
8. I have so much fun watching you when you can't make up your mind which lane you need to be in.  Left lane?  Right lane?  Middle lane?  OOOOOOOO, EXIT!  EXIT!  EXIIIIIIIIIIT! 
9. I love the way you speed up when I turn my turn signal on to change lanes.  
10. I love it when I'm trying to merge onto the interstate and my lane is ending and you go just the right speed to keep me from getting over.
11. It makes me giddy with excitement when I'm in a turn only lane and you are in the straight only lane next to me and turn anyway.  That's especially fun when there is only one lane to turn onto.  Life would be so dull if you actually paid attention to the signs.

Did I miss anything?  Probably.

My latest project-FINISHED!!!

So, I've been working on this project lately.  A lot.  For a VERY long time.  It's been a big learning process, I've spent too much money, and it was all so worth it!  Check it out!

How CUTE is that!?!  I had so much fun with it!  Here's what I did:

I started by decoupaging a different coordinating paper to each drawer.  It took two pieces of scrapbook paper to cover the drawers, and since I was planning on using ribbon to cover the seams anyway, I just left gap in the middle where the knobs go.

I used these adorable pink glass knobs from Hobby Lobby, and I wanted them to really stand out, so I decoupaged ribbon over gap in the paper.  It's hard to tell in the picture, but the ribbon is a dark brown color with blue thread running down each side.  The little bit of blue in the ribbon pulls the drawers together a little bit more since none of these papers have blue in them.  The ribbon serves many purposes, and it's cute!

Then I put on my ripped up, faded, old jeans and started sanding. 

I sanded, and sanded, and sanded.  (My first project like this-didn't know how much or how little I needed to sand.  So I just sanded until I felt like being done with the thing.)  Thanks for that sander, Dad!

I painted the door blue, and then distressed and aged (?) it with wood stain.  You can see the difference in color where I didn't cover the middle with stain.  I love how the colors turned out!

Once I finished with the painted part of the door, I decoupaged a final piece of coordinating scrapbook paper to the front of the door, and decoupaged a wider version of the same ribbon I used on the drawers to frame the paper.  I only had two pieces of each paper, and it would have taken at least four to cover the door like I did the drawers.  So I improvised.  This paper is where the blue comes in.  I used wood putty to fill in the hole where the original knob was, and sweetly asked my dear dad to drill a new hole for me in the top right corner where the ribbon crossed.

At this point, my puppy was feeling pretty neglected.  He kept trying to entice me to come play with him.  So I did.  How could you say no to this face?

Cute, huh?

Then I painted the cabinet 4 different colors to match the colors in the paper.  I painted the sides pink, the top green, the front (behind the drawers and door) tan, and the trim blue (the same color as the door). When I got to the piece of trim at the bottom of the cabinet, Bently (the dog) decided he just couldn't resist the temptation any more.  He came up the freshly painted piece and THUNK-he nose was blue.  He had blue paint on his face for a while.

I distressed and stained it the same way I did the door.  I don't recommend doing this in your living room.  It stinks.  And I got stain on my favorite pair of socks.  I didn't have much choice, though, since I'd rather do this in my living room and fight off the dog and cats than do this out in the dark garage and fight off of mosquitoes and other bugs.

Finally, I sealed it all, added the knobs, and reassembled the whole sha-bang.  LOVE IT!!!  It's going in my craft room which is decorated in these colors.  Once I get the whole room done, I'll put pictures up of that, too!

I will try to get a better picture later today.  Try.

What do you think?

Addendum: I learned everything I know from my mom.  And no, I didn't put this on here just because she guilted me into it.  It's true.

Unfaithful Me

See?  I told you I wouldn't be very faithful with this blog.  I actually only came here to tell you that I've been working on my OTHER blog:  www.littlewhitedovejewelry.blogspot.com.  It's coming along swimmingly!  Please take a look and tell me what you think!

Sir, the sun ALWAYS smiles on me! ;)

So, the other day I was walking out of Goodwill.  This guy in his van stopped to let me walk out the parking lot.  After I walked past him, he pulls up behind me and says, "Excuse me, ma'am." 

I turned around dreading what I might be dealing with.  "Did the sun smile on you this morning when you walked out?" he said. 

Well, since I was a little shocked and confused to come up with something clever, I just kind of mumbled something like "I'm not sure.  Maybe?" 

He very unexpectedly and sweetly said, "Well, it should have." 

Aww.  That made my day!  It's the little things in life. . .

Oh, that dog!!

Ok, so the night before last. . . I was ready for bed. I was REALLY hoping not to have to fight with the dog for 10 minutes telling him to go to bed.

Our usual nightly ritual: I stand in the middle of the bedroom and tell Bently to come. He stands outside the door and stares at me. (The kennel is on the opposite side of the room from the door.)

I tell him to come. He steps inside the room and stares at me.

I sternly tell him to COME and point to the ground in front of me. He comes halfway between the doorway and me and stares at me.

I say (loudly) "BENTLY CUPID! COME! HERE!" and put my finger on the ground. He comes here and refuses to look at me. So I pet him for a second and say, "Good boy. Now go to bed." He stands there and refuses to look at me.

"Go on, go to bed!" I coax. He inches closer to the kennel and refuses to look at me. (I'm laughing as I type.)

"Bently! Get to bed!!!" in a slightly harsh voice. Finally, he's halfway between me and the kennel. Still won't spare a glance my way.

"Dang it, Bently!! Get in that bed RIGHT NOW!!!" He steps up to the door of the kennel, turns around and looks at me (with those sad puppy dog eyes, of course), and then turns around and heads back towards the door. (Oh, no he di'n't!!) And then I move from my spot.

As I stomp over to him, he throws himself onto the ground (all of six inches away when he's standing up tall) and rolls over. I (sucker that I am) pick him up. I love on him for half a sec. (grudgingly, mind you!) and set him back on his feet with his nose at the doorway of the kennel. "Go on, get in there!" He steps in, turns around, huffs at me, and pouts. I lock the door and feel bad (but I would never show him that!).

On Monday night I'm ready for bed and get myself geared up for the fight. He WILL obey me, tonight!! I walk to the middle of the room, and say, "Bently, come!" He's off somewhere in another part of the house pretending not to hear me as usual. . . or so I thought. Into the bedroom he trots, walks right past me and straight into his bed without a second thought! ALLELUIA!!!!! I knew I would win one day!

And then I noticed he had the rest of his rawhide bone. Oh well. Pick your battles.

Terrible Tues. . . days.

I hate Tuesdays with a PURPLE passion!! Why? There is nothing special about Tuesdays. I mean, think about it. Wednesday is "hump day." Thursday is the day before Friday. Friday marks the beginning of the weekend. Saturday and Sunday ARE the weekend. Monday is universally the first day back to the grindstone, and no one REALLY gets anything done on Mondays. Therefore, everything you don't get done on Monday must get done on Tuesday. So Tuesday, you have yesterday's work, today's work, and it still technically only the beginning of the week. THREE MORE WORK DAYS TO GO. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! That's my theory, anyway.

I would have named my blog "Between Tuesdays," but some group has taken it (and not used it in years, btw!!). Stinks for me. Oh, well.

So, I go to McDonalds fairly regularly for lunch. (I know, I KNOW!! It's so bad for me. TELL me about it! My butt is getting larger just THINKING about it! But I must eat, and there I can eat for $3.25. Cheapest lunch I can find. And I really like fries. I mean reeeeaaaallly like fries!) I went last week and the little dude at the window practically leapt (lept? leaped? whatever) into my car to give me my food. weird. When I went yesterday, said weird little dude made a point to tell the guy at the window that he said hi. way weird. And they gave me a Diet Coke instead of a Dr Pepper. How wrong is THAT!!! Ew! That stuff tastes like pond scum!! GACK!! SHIVER!! I took a big ol' swig of that junk, too! I almost choked to death. I should sue. I wonder if I'd win?

Why "Between Mondays"

Frankly, I hate Mondays. (To be honest, I hate Tuesdays MORE, but that blog was already taken. More on that tomorrow.) ;)

I do not like Mondays. They are not my day. I don't enjoy working, but I have to. Monday is the day that starts off the work week. It's all Monday's fault! Since I don't like Mondays, I live life every day in between, and pretend that day doesn't exist.

I LOVE the weekends. I would love to stay at home every day to work on projects around the house (I love to make stuff. And fix stuff.), but since I work, that is not an option. So I have to be content to get my "crafty/handy" fix at night or on the weekends. Monday ends the weekends and my fun. It's all Monday's fault, I swear!

So. . . this blog will likely be a boring, uninteresting, blah read for anyone unfortunately enough to stumble upon it. I have a lot of personality, just not on paper. But I get bored at work. ;)